Some people can’t seem to break free from their pasts. They are haunted by choices; stuck on horrible, seemingly unforgivable things that happened. They dwell on their hurt and their pain and daily walk in circles around those events. They feel victimized, trapped, traumatized. They’ve been through hell and back, and moving on is never as easy as it sounds.
I too have suffered. I remember days feeling I was stuck in a nightmare – lost, hopeless, devoid of life. I needed lots of help, from lots of people, to move through the patch I was in. I couldn’t have done it alone.
Two truths I learnt during that time of recovery was:
1) I did not need to stay a victim.
2) It was possible to accept what happened and work towards a happier, healthier future.
I was given this statement to read during the process:
“This is not how I wanted it to be; hoped it would be; planned it would be. But I accept that this is how it is. And now I choose to get on with my life in a positive way.”
Sometimes the simplest things speak the loudest, and this thought helped me to stop walking in circles and start taking ownership of my life.
I find ‘acceptance’ is a daily practice. Accepting the things we cannot change – like the weather, the traffic, or the housework we’re responsible for – is one thing.
But sifting through the larger crimes/ tragedies/ heartbreaks we go through is a process. Acceptance of what happened might only come after a long time, if at all.
Acceptance doesn’t mean we forget it happened. Nor does it mean it won’t still affect us sometimes. But it does mean we’ve come to a point where it doesn’t control us anymore. The darkness starts to fade and we open up the window blinds, ready to begin a new future full of choices and freedoms we didn’t feel we had before.