Friendship and love · Life and other catastrophes · Parenthood

Of course love is risky.

No one would argue that love isn’t risky. It’s the most terrifying thing on earth.

I took a chance when I fell in love for the first time – and thankfully it’s worked out well. I’m married to a wonderful man who I’ve been with for 16 years. But any relationship where love is involved has the potential to mess with your head, and your life.

I also took a chance by seeking to fall pregnant for the first time. I fell in love with the child growing inside me, and there was no turning back from that connection. No matter what happened to him, I would always love him. I could not avoid the love.

What, really, are the alternatives to loving? We are wired for it. We are born to it. It enlivens us, and can take us to magical places. But when we’ve been hurt we tend to shrink back, afraid.

In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis says:

β€œTo love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

When we keep our love ‘safe’ and unable to grow, we risk losing our ability to relate to others. But when we dare to put ‘our heart on our sleeve’, we give ourselves the chance to experience wonderful, healthy relationships. But there are always challenges.

This week, my family experienced a trauma. Our four-year-old fell through the window of our two-storey house, onto some concrete below. It was quite a height, and while he was very upset by it and had injured himself, our stay in the hospital revealed no broken bones or major damage. We are extremely thankful.

As I saw Thomas lying in the hospital bed, attended to by nurses, I realized afresh the pain of love.

When the person you love is hurt, you feel it too. When you think you might lose them – or if you do lose them – you face incredible trauma. Love is only for the brave and foolish.

But many would say it’s worth it.

Loving others, and the experience of being loved, gives us an insight into the all-consuming love of God, our Heavenly Father.

“God is love” (1 John 4:8) – and He simply can’t be anything else.

His love is shown through his actions:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

And he loves us deeply, and personally, as Augustine wrote:

“God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.”

And Henry Drummond states:

“God is love. Therefore love. Without distinction, without calculation, without procrastination, love.”

Love is not a rational thing, but flows from the deep-down knowledge that we are loved. May we rest today in the amazing love that our Father God lavishes upon us, and ask for His strength to love others in a supremely risky world.

* Image credit: worldprayrblog.org
* Image credit: worldprayrblog.org
Advertisements

29 thoughts on “Of course love is risky.

  1. Praise God your son is alright.

    Your right, often first love (while risky) is the easy part. Maintaining that love in the ups and downs and not letting anything inhibit it, is hard. It is very vulnerable; it requires trust, forgiveness and the ability to be willing to love inspite of fear and loss.

    1. Yes – thank you.
      It sure is – it takes a lot of courage because we never really know how things are going to work out. But we must risk in order to have a chance at happiness, hey! Thankfully God is with us all the way.

  2. So glad your little one is ok. Praise God for that. And thank you for posting this. Truthfully, this speaks to me more than I would like right now. Loving people is always the right choice, even when your love is not returned. Taking that step to put yourself out there can leave you truly hurt, but it’s still better than not loving to the fullest. I say this through a lot of hurt today, but I still believe it. Just wanted to share with anyone else who might be inclined to close off their heart due to things in their life. More than ever, I’m at that point where I could make that choice but I will still choose to love, despite the consequences of putting myself out there. Have a good day and thanks again for a good post.

    1. Thanks Brian. We are so thankful for the preservation of his little life…
      Thanks for your transparency – I think this is so true. ‘Better to have loved and lost’, and all that. I’m sorry you’re hurting today. I pray God ministers to you and allows you to slowly become ready to open your heart as God leads, and love without fear (yet with His wisdom), knowing that His love will always be your foundation. It is far from easy and we need Him so much.

  3. Falling out a second story window and experiencing no major damage. BUT GOD…and thank you Lord for your protection over Thomas. Miracle, Ali. A miracle of mercy from the God who loves your boys more than you do. LOVELY post on love. Thanks for sharing and God bless and continue keeping you all safe…Sending love and prayers.

    1. Amen Sheila! So thankful for His protection too, and the miracle that causes me to see His glory afresh. Thanks so much for your words of care and prayers.
      Be blessed today as you rest in Him,
      Ali

  4. I’m so glad your son is okay…that is a blessing! You are right about love. The tendency is to protect ourselves, so putting our heart out there is counter intuitive (we wouldn’t stick our hand in the fire.) So, yes, it is risk, but the benefits outweigh the risks (in my opinion!)

    1. Thanks Janna. It is a blessing! It’s amazing how when we come face to face with ‘what could’ve been’, we realise the riches we really do have.
      Yeah, that’s so true what you say about it not being natural to take a chance with love. But yes, I would have to agree. Love is crazy but wonderful!

  5. Oh Ali! I’m so glad to know all is well with little Thomas! Oh a mother’s heart doesn’t ever belong entirely to her anymore does it? May He hold you all safe in the palm of His hand always. Sending you so much love and peace dear one. Sharon

Comment on this post?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s